Programmers have a reputation for being grumpy. It might just be a misconception, and a little PR help could clear it up. However, as a programmer and a follower of Jesus, the existence of this reputation creates tension in me. Being grumpy is at odds with the joy Jesus said should fill us.

I haven't always been a programmer. I spent the first half of my career on the art and design side. Over the last twenty years, I have had the rare privilege of spending an almost equal amount of time working as a "creative" and a programmer. Looking back on my career, I've noticed something about myself—different types of work affect my spirit in different ways. 

For example, it seems easier for me to be joyful when doing "creative" work. The design process is like jazz—organic and free. There is an underlying structure that guides the process, but it feels looser and less rigid than programming. It's hard work and challenging, but in different ways.

Programming, on the other hand, feels solid and angular with more restrictions on my mind. Take music; I'm not able to listen to music with words in it. Lyrics distract me, and I lose my train of thought. These days, I mostly listen to ambient and atmospheric music. In addition to being absent of words, it helps foster an atmosphere of peace in my office. Peace is important because it offsets the tightening I experience in my mind. Like compressing a spring or flexing a muscle, my focus narrows, and my concentration increases as I try to hold all these abstract systems in my head

After a long day of programming, I need some time to decompress. If I come directly home, I have a propensity to be a little short with my family. My mind feels like it has been racing at a hundred miles an hour all day while my loved one's conversations stroll along at a leisurely pace. I also find myself getting hung up on the accuracy of people's words. Everyone benefits if I spend some time at the gym before coming home. 

I don't know if programming affects everyone the way it affects me. It might be that I'm not as bright as other programmers, so I have to tax my brain twice as hard. Or it could be that I'm just a brooding artist posing as a programmer. Or it may just be that it's a challenging job. Whatever the case, it seems that I'm part of the problem.

When I encounter something in myself that I don't like, I pray about it. I've lived long enough to know that I can't change myself; only God can change me. So this is a prayer for all of us programmers. 

Lord, fill us, programmers, with overflowing joy. Remove the thistles and thorns that block our paths and lift the burdens we carry. Touch our minds and give us insights into the problems we face. Most of all, Father, I ask that You fill this industry with programmers who love You. Rewrite our narrative; may programmers become known for our joy, peace, patience, and wisdom. Make us like You. Amen.