Breaking The Fear of Failure
Silicon Valley has an ethos of embracing failures on the journey toward success. Mantras like "fail fast, fail often" and "move fast and break things" are uttered in offices and painted on walls throughout the valley. As a tech person, I've embraced and celebrated this spirit, promoting experimentation and framing failures as learning opportunities. When I look at scripture, I sense that Silicon Valley's perspective on failure is close to God's heart. Sadly, the enemy deceived us into believing failure is something to be feared and avoided at all costs. It's a deception that is anxiety-inducing for most and completely paralyzing for others.
Two examples from scripture jump to mind. The first is in Exodus 4, where God calls Moses to lead his people out of slavery. Moses is so fearful of failing that he protests and provides God with multiple excuses such as "they will not believe me or listen to my voice," "I'm not eloquent," and "I am slow of speech and of tongue." We know that Moses eventually overcame his fears and obeyed God, but I'm sure it caused great anxiety along the way.
The second and more troubling example comes from a parable that Jesus shared, known today as The Parable of the Talents. Jesus tells of a man who entrusts three of his servants with some money, expecting them to steward it well while he is away on a journey. Two of the servants get to work and invest the money, which produces a return, but the third servant is paralyzed with fear. He's scared that he will fail his master and receive harsh treatment in return—so he does nothing with the money except bury it.
In The Art of Failure, Danish game designer, educator, and theorist Jesper Juul explores the fascinating paradox of failure in games. Jesper declares his thesis this way:
"My argument is that the paradox of failure is unique in that when you fail in a game, it really means that you were in some way inadequate. Such a feeling of inadequacy is unpleasant for us, and it is odd that we choose to subject ourselves to it. However, while games uniquely induce such feelings of being inadequate, they also motivate us to play more in order to escape the same inadequacy, and the feeling of escaping failure (often by improving our skills) is central to the enjoyment of games. Games promise us a fair chance of redeeming ourselves. This distinguishes failure from failure in our regular lives: (good) games are designed such that they give us a fair chance, whereas the regular world makes no such promises."
The Paradox of Failure in Games:
We generally avoid failure.
We experience failure when playing games.
We seek out games, although we will experience something we normally avoid.
Jesper makes a great argument, and from his vantage point, his argument makes sense. However, it's incomplete when you consider it from a Christian worldview. My rebuttal to Jesper's argument is that the paradox he describes only appears paradoxical because of our current fallen state. We have been deceived into believing that failure will mar our identities, diminish our worth, and result in a catastrophic event we cannot recover from. We've bought the lie that the enemy sold, and it has incorrectly framed the conversation.
Fortunately, one of the things I love about games is that they can help us gain clarity in our lives. In my CGDC 2023 talk, I highlighted one of the superpowers of games, which is that they create safe spaces where players can experiment and fail. Through play, we break the spell the enemy has us under and start to see the truth about failure, which is that it isn't to be feared and avoided but to be embraced and learned from as a step toward our purpose.
The other part of Jesper's argument I want to address is the premise of fairness. Mr Juul is correct; we don't live in a fair world. There are unfair advantages; the odds are stacked in favor of the rich, the powerful, and the beautiful. People are cheated on and cheated out of what they are entitled to. In light of this, well-designed games feel more like a fair environment when caring, thoughtful designers have crafted them. But despite everything that makes the world feel unfair, we have a creator who is just, gracious, patient, powerful, and holds the whole universe together in his hand. He also promises to one day balance the scales, which gives me great comfort.
Another thing that gives me comfort and breaks any fears attached to failure is this: apart from Jesus, nobody has had a perfect record. Even the heroes and saints in the Bible blew it at times. Adam and Eve ate the fruit. Moses killed an Egyptian and ran away. David committed adultery and murdered Bathsheba's husband. Jonah disobeyed God and ran away, and Paul helped murder Christians. Yet, despite all their failures and shortcomings, God still loved them, used them, and walked with them through the story he had prepared for them. In short, God knew they were going to fail before time began, and he made a way for them to accomplish their purpose.
Brothers and sisters, we have no reason to fear failure! The God of the universe knew you before you were born, and he has a plan for you. He's so much bigger than your failures; he's the God who works all things together for your good. The parts that look and feel like failures, God will use them to prepare you for the next part of your journey. So when you drop the ball—and you will— remember that the Father isn't up in heaven glaring at you; he's actually up there cheering you on.